Coat off my back?

Vocab:

bota-bota - n. a small motorcycle/mo-ped that can be hired for a mere 30 cents to take us from town to home. We ride side-saddle (cause we're in skirts) and try not to touch the driver too much cause that's just awkward :) We ride them all the time.

Bishop Stuart - n. a university just outside of town. it costs 60 cents to take a bota-bota out there. Me and Bets go out there every other Tuesday for a Bible study.

Ok so that was mostly just a for fun thing, but they're good things to know. :)

On Tuesday me and Bets were out at Bishop Stuart soaking up some awesome worship (this is always a highlight both of us, even though we're always expected to share an encouraging thought every week...that kinda caught us by surprise the first few weeks!) and it started to look like rain so the girls gave us a little "push" and walked us down to the gate. It's much harder to catch a boda-boda out by the university because there are less people and so they don't come out there as often. In town there will be at least 6 all over you shouting to get your business. So anyway, we always have to walk a little ways to find one and then one of us hops on and the other keeps walking till they find one. I got the short straw that day and so Bets got the first one we saw and I started trying to convince the driver's to take me...no one wanted to drive in the rain. Finally one drove by and it was very obvious that he had already driven through A LOT of rain. He was soaking wet. His shirt was dripping, it was so wet! I flagged him down and told him where i wanted to go. He looked at me wearily and quoted a price that was obviously cheating me (white skin drives the price up sometimes) but he was the only one willing to take me and I felt bad for him cause he looked like he was having a hard day, so I agreed to his price. Then something happened that absolutely shocked me. A man walked over and gave my driver the coat off his back! They didn't speak or even really look at each other except for the mumbled "thank you" from my driver. On the 10 minute ride back into town I also saw a brother take off his sweater and give it a younger sibling who didn't have one, and an young man take off his hat and give it to an old lame man who was walking through the rain. I was amazed by the generosity of those around me. In America, would someone give someone else their umbrella when both people obviously need it? Not many. I saw the man that gave the coat walk off after giving it away, he headed down a dirt path away from all the buildings and shelters. He gave away something that he himself still "needed". What is it about these people who have nothing, that can give when they see a need in someone else? What is it in me that feels the need to hoard my "stuff"? People here would literally give me the shirt off their back if i needed it. I'm convicted, but still a part of my selfishness holds on. Just today, one day after witnessing such generosity, we were approached by a man that did more than hint that he wanted some money. This man is a friend who has had us in his home and served us and called us his daughters. His father died and he was left with debts because of that. While he was telling us this I was thankful that I didn't have any money with me. Thankful! What in the world?? He was sharing his hurt and his burdens and all i could think of was that this culture is so weird that people have no shame and ask for money all the time.

Satan is so good at using my culture against me. Even after I have been here and seen hospitality and generosity on a new level, I'm still caught in my selfish attitudes and live like all my stuff is MINE. I'm writing this so that maybe it will help me to remember that everything I have belongs to everyone around me. It's not any more mine than it is yours. There is no room for my selfishness in God's kingdom. I have more than enough and surely more than I will ever need. It's not enough for me to see poverty or need and say "I wish that there was no poverty in the world". What makes me think that I deserve to live like I do? Because I work hard? Uh, no. Compared to a lot of the people here...I don't even know what hard work is.

"I want to live like Jesus". It's not enough for me to SAY that either. I need to start living like I believe that is the better way to live. And live that way with the confidence that I can't do it on my own.

I'm leading Bible study in our home tonight. Such a simple statement that makes me excited and scared at the same time. Scared, because I do things like I did today and live for myself rather than my Lord. Also scared because I'm actually doing it...I'm living out my faith and leading a Bible study! This is my joy and my passion and I'm actually doing it and not just talking about it! Talking about God to others forces me to be sure. I have to be sure that what I'm saying is truth or I'm just talking about nothing. I have to be sure God will join us here tonight and take my awful attempt at teaching and let people understand His words a little better than they did before. I have to be sure. "Father, I believe. Help my unbelief!"