Value of Discomfort

This stemmed from a conversation last week with Jessica Sloan and Betsy Glover. Thanks for keeping me growing.

Well I've now been living in Uganda for 7 and a half months. That's ridiculous. I'll be home in three and a half months. Thinking about going home brings lots of different emotions up inside of me. Mostly I get really excited about the family, friends, and food. :) But then there is a part of me that is worried and really starts to hurt. I hurt because I will miss this place. I'm worried because I've been changed here. I'm not the person I was when I came. How will I fit back into the life I used to know? Will I just fit right back in like I never changed? Will I be so different that I can't relate to people around me? I'm not stressing about it, but it is something that I am praying about. Staying true to what I've learned about God and myself without being obnoxious in telling people what I've learned and that they should maybe start learning that too.

OK, that had nothing to do with the conversation, that's just what I've been feeling lately so I wanted to share. Our conversation was about the differences in the ways people handle things. We talked about stress a little and then we talked about comfort and how some people need to feel comfortable. This implied that some people don't need to feel comfortable. While this is true and people handle uncomfortble situations very differently, I think that most people would prefer to feel comfort in most situations. I'm not sure I would ever choose to be uncomfortable if you gave me a choice. At first glance, if you asked me if I wanted to live in the perfect environment and always be the perfect temperature I would jump at that! But, as I think about it, I would miss so much more than I would gain. Riding in a car with the windows down, feeling the cooling breeze on a hot day, sleeping in a tent when it's too hot and knowing there is not shower coming tomorrow, feeling that feeling of sweaty satisfaction after a good workout, snow and all that goes with that, but especially hot chocolate after a fun morning of sledding, taking your breath away by diving into a cold pool on a hot day without testing the water temperature first, sitting outside on a porch at sunset and the cold night air making you a little cold so you go put on a hoodie sweatshirt.

So many things just from that simple example. Maybe a stupid example, but it kind of describes my experience here, except that I was experiencing all of these things for the first time so it was more of a shock at the beginning. But, after being here, these uncomfortable situations are like old friends. Being asked last minute (like in the middle of the devo) if I have a thought prepared has become a time of deep communion with God and His Spirit as they lead my thoughts. Times of miscommunication with my friends here become times of laughter and sharing deeply in one another's lives and cultures. When people stop by at all times of the day just to chat has become another way of ministering to people here, and in return, I am filled. Sometimes it's not always fun. Sometimes it makes me tired. Sometimes it makes me want my comforts that I left behind. But always, it makes me appreciate what I am learning and slowly slowly becomes what I am living for here. I have to admit and say that marriage proposals from random ugandans will not make the list of awkward situations I'm learning to enjoy. I've had two in the last week. One was over the phone. Did he honestly think I was going to say yes?! Goodness. I just felt the need to be honest and let you know that everything here is not perfect, but it sure does make for some funny times later when me and Bets debreif on the day.
"How was your day?"
"Fine. Got a proposal again today. You?"
"Me too! It was Jacob." (name changed to protect the idiot.)
"Cool. Jacob asked me to marry him last week."
"Well, that's just insulting."
"Yea. Sloppy seconds."
So, very funny later, but very awful at the time.

All that to say that I am learning to be okay in situations that may seem at first to be strange and foreign. It's ok to feel at a loss. It's fine if I'm scared or nervous. It's okay if people laugh at me. I don't need to be worried if I don't understand the first time. When I feel backed into a corner is the time that God can come out and show His power. He is strong when I am weak. And the other side is true also. When I am strong, He is weak. At least in my life. The way I can give him more room to work is to EMBRACE the uncomfortable, unstable, hard, worrisome, ridiculous, hopeless, and dreary situations that come up in this life. That takes trust. That's a whole nother issue in my life. Trust, for me, usually means uncomfortable.

That is the value of discomfort.